balotelli fires up again

Much as it pains me to say it, I’m starting to warm to “mad-as-a-cut-snake” Mario Balotelli, despite his latest stamping incident. Whether it’s setting his bathroom on fire after lighting fireworks and launching them out the window (and really, who hasn’t done that?), the outrageous back-heel miss in a US tournament, or his series of training ground punch-ups with team-mates, he’s quite obviously not your average player. Then there’s the football. Sublimely gifted, the young Mario was always trouble from the beginning, particularly for some of the notoriously racist ultras who don’t believe black Italians should exist, let alone play for the Azzurri, and Mario wasn’t having that. Making his senior debut at 19 and becoming the first black player to score for Italy, he still seems like he always has a point to prove. Whether some of his antics are borne of frustration, the dramas of spoiled youth or just plain nuttiness, the sullen showboating skills that go with his bad attitude and ridiculous haircuts mean if he can only stay on the pitch City might actually confound the sceptics and take their first title since 1968. Stay mad Mario, but not that mad.

these foolish things

Bryan Ferry: musical legend, style icon, smooth as silk, all around top Geordie bloke. Now add to that list incurable romantic, creche-snatcher and quite possibly, functioning delusionalist. What sort of late-life crisis leads you to start dating your son Isaac’s 29 year old ex-girlfriend in the first place, let alone marry her as Ferry did in the Bahamas recently? He would’ve had cheeses older than her. Of course, if you’re Bryan Ferry such trivialities don’t enter your mind, because, well, you’re Bryan Ferry, and you’ve always had an eye for the ladies, particularly the ones that grace your album covers. Leaving aside the nigh on 40 year age difference, it’s hard to know what they might possibly share, apart from a mutual interest in his reputed 30 million GBP fortune of course.

eric the king?

Regarding Eric’s noble attempt to draw attention to the plight of France’s poor by nominating for President The Daily Mash reported: “Speaking in poetry from the top of the Arc de Triomphe, Cantona said: ‘Heaving the broken body of France onto his shoulders, the dawn streaming golden behind him, he crosses no man’s land and the guns fall silent.

‘Commanding submission with the endless desire in his eyes, he karate kicks injustice right in the chest.’

Vote 1 Eric for justice, égalité, fraternité.

joy division from the archives

A lot has been said about Joy Division, but not so much by the band themselves. Online music mag the quietus has a philosophy of only covering releases from the last 30 years (“We chose a completely spurious Year Zero of 1974 because that’s when Kraftwerk released ‘Autobahn’ as a single. It seemed to us the birth of modern music”) and has unearthed this gem of an interview from NME in 1979. Observers of the most recent Hooky v The Others drama can only wonder what might’ve been.

free suarez to a good home

It’s awfully good of Liverpool not to dispute the findings against Luis Suarez, if you call saying they’re completely wrong and nothing was proved not disputing something. That wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that launching an appeal opens up the possibility of adding to the lengthy 8 match ban and 40,000 GBP fine if things don’t go your way would it (and if you listen to Liverpool fans of course, they never do)? The whole kerfuffle would also have nothing to do with the Uruguayan being simultaneously their best player and A Grade knob either, would it? Despite admitting that he did in fact call Patrice Evra “negro” or “blackie” at least seven times during the heated match, his argument seems to be it was all in jest, and that the term is actually used quite affectionately in his country. Would that be as in your quoted “I don’t talk to negroes” quip Luis? Hilarious stuff and no harm done, we can all agree. After last month’s “He’ll never walk alone” t shirt campaign in Suarez’s defence backfired, it is believed a new Liverpool protest has been planned with players taking to the pitch in white pointy hoods as part of the “see no evil, hear no evil” program aimed at proving acknowledging racism has no place at Liverpool.

pashley class up the bike lanes

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Unless you’re a lane-surfing 4WD’er with your phone glued to your ear (in which case, I hope me getting caught under your wheels also causes you to crash and die), you’d know that bikes have been cool again for some time now. And I don’t mean the superfuture road bikes that cost the equivalent of a small boat and strangely make you yearn to wrap your flab in lycra; I’m talking about the stripped bare look of the hipster’s choice, the fixie or garden variety single-speed. But there is a third way – the type of machine that gives more than a sly wink to the simple utilitarian bikes of the past and suggests a leisurely cruise in comfortable clobber rather than too much exertion, geared or otherwise. English manufacturer Pashley has been building some of the best since 1926 and the classic Guv’nor, these days available in Sydney, is still the boss. Single speed or three-geared, it was never meant to be ruined with anything as gauche as a helmet, which is unlikely to help you under a Range Rover anyway.

the rise of ankling

“The ankle bone’s connected to a dream of being someone quite different: a clam-digging urchin, fleet-footed Ibiza deckhand or smooth Portofino playboy, idling around a place which has never known puddles.”

Someone asked me not so long ago where they might find 3/4 length shorts and I suggested they try 1996, but as summer threatens to eventually arrive this updated article on the rise of rising trouser hems could yet again prove timely. Just remember, 3/4 shorts or their mutant evil twin the 7/8 trouser are most definitely not where your thinking should be, and make sure they’re on the slim side or you run the risk of becoming a culotte-wearer, and nobody wants to see that. The choice of footwear is wide and varied but does not run to thongs unless you are within actual sight of sand.

drive style tips

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Ryan Gosling in Drive pulls a seriously cool look with his fitted Levis denim jacket, driving gloves and lengthy silences, but as is so often the case, it’s the sunglasses that finish it all off. These Selma Optique Money 2s give the whole thing that slightly off-kilter, wrong/right feel that sums up his character, much like Travis Bickle’s American Optical aviators did in Taxi Driver, which intriguingly bears more than just a passing resemblance to Drive. Both films are visually stunning and feature the quiet loner with little else in his life, looking to rescue a stranded woman with some seriously tooled-up ass-kicking. Of course, like a lot of things of late these sunnies are kind of 80s, but as evidenced by the brilliant soundtrack, it’s always about absorbing the references and being selective. If you feel you can rock the blood-spattered quilted scorpion jacket as well, I say Drive on.

ralph thieves sydney hoodlum chic

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Oscar Wilde might’ve said, “talent borrows, genius steals, and fashion designers do both” and the three images above are a good example of exactly that. While there are certainly few original ideas left when it comes to fashion, the news that Ralph Lauren has found inspiration in a book called City of Shadows (i) that features a series of mug shots taken in 1920s Sydney will come as some surprise to Jim Thompson of local label Three Over One, who used the same photos as an influence for his Spring/Summer 2010 range and subsequent photo shoot (ii). The thugs of yesteryear certainly seemed to know the value of looking sharp, and were decidedly better dressed than today’s motley bunch of track-suited reprobates slouching about in hip hop toddler wear and garish trainers. In any case, Ralph was so enamoured of the images that he purchased over 20 to use as displays in his New York and London boutiques as well as forming the basis for his latest international ad campaign (iii). It may come as some surprise to both Ralph and Jim that British menswear designer Carolyn Massey also took inspiration from the same book for her current capsule range at Asos saying that “finding a modern spin on the gents’ clothing – most were criminals – was important”.

I’d say finding a new book to nick ideas from might be even more important.

brisbane roar into the record books

The fact that Brisbane Roar have set a new Australian sporting record by going 36 games unbeaten will no doubt not receive the local media attention it deserves. That’s a shame, as it would be truly a remarkable achievement in any team sport, but possibly more so in football. The game, as you’ve no doubt noticed, is a contest of particularly fine margins where a goal has weight and severity, unlike say, Aussie Rules where they’ll even throw you a point for missing. Both rugbys, I’m reliably informed, give you opportunity after a try to further add to your tally with a second chance of a kicked field goal. As for basketball, its scoring appears so limitless, so boringly infinite, that no one can even be bothered to check if there was a winner half the time, while cricket hands out fours and sixes like pinball multi scores. The point being, in most sports a lead, once established, is generally built on whereas football’s goals are often a rare and precious thing to be savoured as there might not be another along for some time. All this makes Brisbane’s benchmark unlikely to ever be matched in this country, and certainly not by another football team of any stripe. That they’ve also done it in such swaggering, swashbuckling style only adds to the achievement – now, if only anyone heard about it.